last night i drank almost a pint of soymilk

i bought a 12 pack of soymilk at costco last saturday.
i was halfway through the first carton in one sitting, when my roommates told me that it's an estrogen protein, and that i will probably grow breasts.

the kitchen at my office is to the point that i feel cleaning the dishes with my hand is more hygenic than using the sponges.

first post since february??

that's hard to believe, even in my own words.

the time to change has arrived. my stomach hurts a little. maybe it's because i bought a bottle of hot sauce (with a warning on the label) and used it on my sandwich at lunch today. the outcome sucks, but hey, that was a tasty sandwich.

my word, i want pizza.
but that ain't gonna happen.

i need to be asleep in 24 minutes, don't waste my time.
you're not in a classroom, and this isn't the fifth dimension.

i've had the idea for a while to create my own website. not like in the past, with free servers, domain re-directs, and all that free stuff. i mean, legitly register a domain, and get to it.

so much has led up to this point, i can't blame my frustration on any one thing.
nevertheless, i'm about to quit everything.

i have issues going on at work, and in my personal life, and the combined stress is almost more than i can stand.

just one, pathetic example:
i had an idea for the website today.
it requires flash.
my desktop computer (with mac installed) is up in my room, where there is no space to use it. if i were to bring it downstairs and set it up, i'm sure one or more of my roommates would require me to move it.
even if i did set it up downstairs, i reinstalled the operating system a week or three ago, so all my programs (final cut, flash, photoshop, etc...) are gone, and would need to be reinstalled.

bottom line:
i refuse to spend several hours trying to fix problems that stand in the way of me failing at flash.
(and yes, it would take several hours, because i'm pretty sure i have to reinstall leopard as well, which is no easy task to get the compatibility right on non-apple hardware)

result: i give up on the website.

besides, i've been thinking about this for weeks, and have virtually no content.
basically i'd be paying to have a site no one visits.
why do that, when i have that here for free?

the time may come, even tomorrow or next week, that i decide to try.
but not today. today i'm a failure.

for two reasons, this isn't me fishing for a compliment.
1. i can't stand when people do that
2. one person reads this.

i hate being a part of something i'm sure will fail.

/rant

there is a taco in the front seat of my car.

it has been there for over a week.

a rainy day in la

as i was leaving the loft this morning in a semi-conscious state, i noticed something worth observing further.

the car parked next to me was missing its back window. normally, this wouldn't cause a problem in the rain, since it was safely tucked under the roof's overhang.

not today.



the roof is bent in a way that makes the water collect and fall harder from a couple choice spots. this guy has his soft-top convertible parked directly under the stream, which is reflecting off the spoiler into the back seat.

as i looked inside to calculate damages, i noticed that the water had enough force to spray all over the dash as well.

at this point, i learned something about myself as a person.
i don't handle these ambiguous moral situations with too much creativity.

of course, when someone drops something, i pick it up, when someone's fly is down, i (laugh and point) tastefully let them know; but when there is no obvious quick fix, i'm plumb out of ideas.

now, i'm not a complete jerk. i stood there (taking pictures) for a little bit, trying to figure out how i could help.
i didn't want to mess with his car, since it was obvious the back window situation was terribly fragile.

i considered leaving a note.
then i realized how dumb that actually was, since a note confirming the wetness of his car would do nothing to prevent further wetness.

and since i don't know where this guy lives, i can't let him know.
so i took several pictures, and drove to work.

things i miss, cause that's all i want to write about these days.

-simpler times, such as when i had a job

-playing ao like it was the only game in existance

-feeling guilty for my actions

-having friends i don't have to track down (you know who you are.)

-being warm

-motivation

-so much more...