a typical office wednesday

front door ---straight to the---> coffee pot.
take my bag to my desk, and roam the office for a few minutes, sipping my mug of mostly creamer.

at the computer, browse tech news, check facebook, change status to something vague and emo.
check myspace (even though i barely use it), rapidly click refresh on the news and facebook pages.

great. now i'm bored.
and i've only wasted 17 minutes.

alright, i'll clean my desk, but ahhh, no i won't, that's too hard, it won't take long anyway, and then i'll be bored again. no, i'll clean it friday.

oh no.
here he comes. i can see his reflection in the open door.
stay calm. put your headphones on so you can ignore him. he's probably just here to loiter.
what's that? you need me to do something on my computer? here, why don't you just... oh, you want me to do it, while you instruct me? ok, that'll be more fun anyway.

if you're going to dictate something for me to type, at least have it ready when you walk in the room. and i appreciate you standing close so i can hear you, but lean back a little. it feels like you're trying to spoon my chair.

here, i insist.
you type it. i'll just get another cup of coffee, and flirt with the girl in the next office. i'll come back later. no really, i don't mind.

ah, you're still here.
at my desk.
no no, take all the time you need.

alright, you left the room for 5 minutes with your project open on my computer.
i'm taking that to mean that you're done.
now to get back to my twitters and facebook status...

oh hi, you're back.
yeah, i thought you were done. clearly that was my mistake.
sure, i'll do the rest for you, let me just close all the im's i know you love to read over my shoulder.

no, the website isn't password protected.
you're sure it is?
well, it's not, because i have the settings right here in front of me, and there's no password.
there you go, wrong website. yeah, it must be your browser. that crazy internet!

what? click where?
sure, i'll keep my mouth shut and not say, "i know" every time you tell me where to click, but please, stop putting your finger on the screen when you point.
you're leaving smudges, and i can't see through your damn hand. do you even see me leaning to see around it? take the hint.

excellent, all done.
dude, how many times are you going to read that thing? it says the same thing as it did when you typed it.

finally. back to work.

did i tell you i can tell who's coming by the sound of their footsteps?

the only exception is the music producer, who i'm convinced walks in front of the sound she makes, since i never hear her until she has already stormed the room.

hey look, just about time for lunch.
put on the kernel panic screensaver and away messages, i'm getting tacos.