i've had the idea for a while to create my own website. not like in the past, with free servers, domain re-directs, and all that free stuff. i mean, legitly register a domain, and get to it.
so much has led up to this point, i can't blame my frustration on any one thing.
nevertheless, i'm about to quit everything.
i have issues going on at work, and in my personal life, and the combined stress is almost more than i can stand.
just one, pathetic example:
i had an idea for the website today.
it requires flash.
my desktop computer (with mac installed) is up in my room, where there is no space to use it. if i were to bring it downstairs and set it up, i'm sure one or more of my roommates would require me to move it.
even if i did set it up downstairs, i reinstalled the operating system a week or three ago, so all my programs (final cut, flash, photoshop, etc...) are gone, and would need to be reinstalled.
bottom line:
i refuse to spend several hours trying to fix problems that stand in the way of me failing at flash.
(and yes, it would take several hours, because i'm pretty sure i have to reinstall leopard as well, which is no easy task to get the compatibility right on non-apple hardware)
result: i give up on the website.
besides, i've been thinking about this for weeks, and have virtually no content.
basically i'd be paying to have a site no one visits.
why do that, when i have that here for free?
the time may come, even tomorrow or next week, that i decide to try.
but not today. today i'm a failure.
for two reasons, this isn't me fishing for a compliment.
1. i can't stand when people do that
2. one person reads this.
i hate being a part of something i'm sure will fail.
/rant
take my hand...
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2 comments:
You know what? I read this post and by the end of it I could have sworn I wrote it. Not necessarily what you're wanting to do with your computer but the deeper meaning of your post dealing with motivation, inspiration, throwing your hands up and failure. I can't tell you how many posts I've written with an identical meaning. But you know what? I think you have something inside of you that I have as well. You look at something and think, "Hell no, that's way too much work to accomplish one thing so maybe later or never." And then you move on to something else. But in the back of your mind, that project or thing you really wanted at that one time is still going to be there. You're always going to have that desire to own it; you're just waiting for the perfect motivation which is really nothing other than you telling yourself, "Let's do this" because you know you can make it happen. You know I'm always going to support you and your ideas/projects no matter what they are. Sometimes I believe you just need one person in your corner to create a masterpiece. You're a very intelligent and dedicated man. Keep imagining and creating because you never know who you're inspiring.
OK Boden. I am TOTALLY ready for an update on you! Or for that matter, on anything you want to write about! :)
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